It's Just Life, I Guess

T - h - e __ E - x - c - u - s - i - v - e ( ! ) F - i - l - e - s __ o - f __ M (E) ! 

A whole lotta Maddie in one place, so prepare...

 

Just something for y'all to think about.... 

Anyways, I don't know about you, but I have never feared dying alone, nor do I now that I'm...... 

(!) SINGLE (!) 

 & 

not minding it 

liking it! (?) 

Sure, it can get a little lonely. True enough. But I'm okay... I suppose....   

Look, my last few relationships weren't easy. I'd love to go into details, get it off my chest, all that jazz... but when there's two individuals involved, you don't go flappin y'er mouth. It's only proper courtesy. And so, I have not been able to get it off my chest. And the last two breakups, over the course of 4 years - ya know --> the relationships that mattered the most of my few so far in my life, well, they hurt - whether I was the one to end them, or not. As I tell anyone who asks me, "It doesn't matter who broke it off." That is not the point. The point is that breakups are always hard if they meant something, no matter how badly you may have wanted out. Especially when you shared a strong love and the relationship lasted:

3 Years & 4 Months (my longest, most meaningful relationship, the one I learnt the most from in the end, The one I, for obvious reasons would, if any, miss the most, and last but not least, the one I shared with a guy I will always have a lot of love toward 

I had loved this man, and he had loved me. Typical love story? Hah! Shuuut up, you don't know shit. We started our relationship as teenagers and it grew until we were adults. 

Love, love is not a word to be played or messed with. I certainly do not mess with the word simply because of what it stands for - what it symbolizes. So why, you ask, did it end? LONG STORY. Much too long, much too complicated, and painful to think about, even still. It isn't like I dwell on it/think about it all the time, GOSH NO! 

But when you go through that, what we did, everything changes. Your perspective, the whole works (for a while, anyways..)  I do understand though, that sometimes things just don't work out, they aren't meant to be. Sometimes you will be the one to breakup with the one you love, but obviously in good reasonS and obviously after a lot of effort to fix. The love itself, does not die. Okay, so you are no longer what you were, no longer in love, but will always have love toward, for obvious reasons. 

Ahh! It is so very hard to explain! You simply can not describe something that's SO BIG into measly little.. words, you just can't.

God bless everyone!

- Madalaine Marie